Come As You Are: The Ministry of an Imperfect Table

When my kids were small and we'd host guests, when the doorbell rang I literally perspired—partially from anxiety; but mostly because I had this flawed idea that things had to be "perfect" to invite someone into our home. What if they see my trash can overflowing? What if my kids' rooms are not picked up? What if the chicken is dry?  What if the bathroom has dirty clothes on the floor? 

Reasons like these can be exactly what keeps us from the power of sharing our table with someone else.

We're busy. Our cooking may involve hot dogs sliced into mac and cheese or Uber Eats delivering Chipotle.

But not gathering around the table can have the opposite power: short-circuiting true community.

My Mother's legacy was her hospitality. She honored us, gave generously, enjoyed us. She didn't have much in the world's eyes but what she had she willingly gave away. Her house wasn't impressive but her love of family (community) was!  

The goal of gathering friends around the table isn't our family's glory as the host: Look how much we have our act together! Aren't we impressive in our ability to serve you?

It's loving well in the name of Jesus. To offer a cup of cold water in His name.

Ruth Haley Barton reflects in Life Together in Christ: Experiencing Transformation in Community,"Paying attention to these inner dynamics [of opening our homes] can tell us about ourselves. How comfortable am I with myself and my life as God has given it to me right now?"

Maybe people spontaneously showing up when beds lay unmade means my home's attraction is an inner beauty. Maybe people are drawn to authenticity and comfort. 

Sharing our table is about accepting and welcoming all sorts of people (Luke 14:13), creating for them a warm sense of home. Rather than through showy perfection, this is about genuine care and presence with others. 

The Bible communicates vital intimacy when we invite others around the table.

• In Genesis, Abraham hurried to invite his three heavenly visitors to the close fellowship of a meal (18:1-8).

• In seven feasts a year (three mandatory), God's people recounted His faithfulness around the table (Leviticus 23).

• Jesus, particularly after His resurrection, shared many meals with His disciples. But even before, He was scorned for His close fellowship with sinners; think of the privilege of Jesus going to Zacchaeus' home. People commented, "This man receives sinners and eats with them" (Luke 15:2, emphasis added).

• In Revelation 3:20, Jesus encourages, "If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me."

There's something intimate about the generosity of sharing our provisions and even inviting someone into our homes.

As God describes the early church, Acts 2 mentions community and "breaking bread" as one of its cornerstones. And check out the results: "They devoted themselves ... to the breaking of bread and the prayers ... breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved". 

In Lost Connections, author Johann Hari states:  "every one of the social and psychological causes of depression and anxiety [social psychologists] have discovered has something in common. They are all forms of disconnection."

Disconnection stops us from experiencing God's fullness through community. It keeps the world from seeing the beauty of God's church. And it prevents the authentic relationships we're created for.

Visitors may not remember whether my bathroom mirrors were spatter-free or if I served homemade cookies. But they remember if I was sincerely, undistractedly present with them. They remember if I was interested in their story. Whether they felt loved and received.

More than activities commanding our schedules, we can choose a priority of time and presence. Let's gather community around the table—and get connected! Invite someone into your home this week!